The coronavirus pandemic influences our daily activities and life in a profound way. With the holidays upon us, many families want to create new ways to celebrate the season and honor family traditions. Involving your children in different activities can be a great way to create fun and engaging experiences, while fostering your child’s development of social skills, citizenship, sense of belonging, and contribution.

As you spend more time at home, try these crafts that you and your children can do together to celebrate the season or, even, start a new tradition.

Sand Art Menorah and Candles

Lighting candles on a menorah is one of the most treasured traditions of Hanukkah, also known as the festival of lights. After you make this,  encourage your child to gift it to a friend or family member on Hanukkah, or use it yourselves to make the holiday symbolic and memorable.

MATERIALS

• One large glass jar

• Sand of a few different colors

• Small glass jars

• Funnel

• Silver straws or battery-operated tea lights

• Scissors

• Yellow grosgrain (or corded) ribbon

INSTRUCTION

Take eight small jars and one big jar. Use a funnel to fill the jars with colored sand. If you’d like, try pouring different colors into one jar to make layers. To create patterns, tilt the jar as you pour the sand or use a wooden popsicle stick to move the different colors around. Don’t forget to tap the jar after filling. Pick your favorite candles (such as birthday candles) to place in the jar. For younger children or children who may need additional supervision, silver straws, tea lights or battery-operated tea lights, are an excellent option.

Ink Blot Prints

Based on the famous Rorschach ink blog test, ink blot prints are tons of fun for kids to make and attempt to “read.” Help your children make prints to gift to someone they care about for New Year’s.

MATERIALS

• Small paintbrushes

• Medium weight art paper

• Sponges in different shapes

• Picture frame

• Tempera paints

INSTRUCTIONS

Take a white piece of paper and fold it in half. Generously dab or pour paint on one side of the folded paper. Try using differently shaped sponges to dab designs onto the paper. Next, fold the other side of the paper and press down. Open the paper to see the design and let it dry. Then ask your child: what shapes or images can you make out in the design? Place the painting in a frame to display it around your home, or wrap it up and give it to a friend or loved one.

Sensory Bottles

These fun, imaginative bottles are perfect to make for each person at your holiday table or to send to family members. Best of all, your child can make each bottle unique and customize it for each recipient.

MATERIALS

• Small bottle or jar

• Hair gel or baby oil

• Water

• Glitter

• Paper clips

• Water beads (or buttons or other small objects)

• Optional: Magnet, ribbon, permanent marker

INSTRUCTION

Take an empty bottle and pour in hair gel (or baby oil), water, and a little glitter. Add miniature objects, such as beads, buttons, figurines, and paper clips. Seal the bottle tightly and shake. To decorate the outside of the bottle, consider tying a ribbon around the neck or writing on the outside with permanent marker.

Once completed, your child can take a magnet alongside the exterior of the bottle to make the paper clips move. You can also turn the bottle in different directions to watch the objects slowly move around and settle.

Mini Clay Bowls

Unique clay bowls make a lovely Christmas Gift. After all, they’re great for storing everything from spare change and hair clips to buttons and safety pins. Kids love the squishy feel of clay—and take pride in making something useful for grown-ups.

MATERIALS

• Wax paper

• White air-dry clay

• Water

• Small rolling pin

• Cooking oil

• Non-washable ink pad

• Chipboard letters or rubber letter stamps

• Cotton swab

INSTRUCTIONS

Knead the clay for a few seconds to warm it up and loosen it. Flatten it on wax paper, maintaining at least a quarter-inch thickness. Wet the top of the clay with water to smooth the surface, and then let the clay sit for eight to 10 minutes.

Apply a small amount of cooking oil to the surface with your finger. Put the ink on your stamp and press it on the wet surface. To clean any unwanted oil or impression, use a cotton swab. Mold the corners to shape it into a bowl. Experiment with different shapes and sizes.  Leave the bowl on wax paper for three days to let it completely dry, and then wrap it up as a gift for family or friends.

Halloween can require some extra planning and precautions when celebrating with children who have autism. UAB Medicine published an article stating that recent studies have suggested at least one in 20 children is affected by a sensory processing disorder, and these symptoms can become more pronounced at Halloween. The costumes, extra sugar, noises and disruption of routine can all be very triggering and may lead to some challenging behaviors. This year with the additional safety and health precautions due to Covid-19, certain areas are restricting the ways in which we can celebrate, but parents can still make this a memorable holiday for their kids.

PREPARE IN ADVANCE

Halloween won’t seem like such a disruption of routine to children if parents plan ahead of time and let their kids know what to expect. Parents should discuss costume ideas, if their child is interested in wearing one, and have them participate in the process of choosing or creating it. Families can also incorporate family friendly Halloween movies during the month of October to associate positivity with the concept, like trick or treating, dressing up and the spooky décor, before the actual holiday takes place. Children with autism are able to adapt to new scenarios more favorably when they are not caught off guard and have ample preparation.

TRY SENSORY ACTIVITIES

Sensory activities are very beneficial for children with autism as it helps to stimulate the brain, improves social and communicative skills, facilitates coordination, and can have a calming effect. Lemon Lime Adventures published quite a few sensory play ideas themed for Halloween that would allow for a fun and unique celebration. Decorate pumpkins, cookies, or your home in lieu of trick-or-treating. If your child is interested in costumes, try a family themed one that everyone can be involved in.

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF VIRTUAL APPS

Trick-or-treating is unlikely to happen in many parts of the US right now, so this year is a good opportunity to celebrate from home. There are numerous avenues to try, from online Halloween scavenger hunts, pumpkin carving competitions and virtual costume contests. Parents can incorporate Zoom, FaceTime or any number of remote apps that have risen in popularity this year. Click here for a full list of remote ways to celebrate Halloween with kids this year.

While the world continues to adjust to life during a pandemic, we are continuing to find ways to adapt traditions and holidays to this new virtual format. Children can have an especially hard time with the transition and keeping some traditions alive, even in a remote setting, can help them feel grounded during this time of uncertainty.

This was a text from one of my mom-friends in the early days of our stay-at-home order.  It took me a second to register the meaning in this statement from someone who is my friend, my peer, who has children of the same age.  It felt so foreign, and I immediately thought, Time?!  What am I doing wrong?  (The answer is, of course, plenty, but let’s not get distracted here.)

The difference between my lovely (bored) friend and myself is that I am parenting a child with special needs.  I don’t have a child with autism; my oldest struggles with mental illness.  In regular times, it’s lonely, it’s difficult, and I feel like our family is indelibly different.  But in the midst of a pandemic…  Forget different, we are alien life forms on a different planet.  I get texts from my friends asking for validation that it is okay that they let their child skip an assignment today.   My first thought is, Girl, today I turned on closed captioning while the kids watched tv and I called it Reading All Day.  Facebook is full of pictures of the cleaned-out basements and fresh-baked sourdough done in my friends’ free time.  Again: Free time?!?  Like some of my friends who have kids with autism, my days are spent helping my child manage the basics of life: getting over the emotional hurdle of breakfast, running the marathon of 2 hours of home-schooling that feels like 12, spending an hour out of every three diffusing a meltdown.  Throughout it all, my husband and I are following a path that winds around the house like a trail of breadcrumbs, wiping and fixing the things that have been spilled and broken in his wake.  It is constant.  It is relentless.  There is no lunch break.  There is definitely no time to be cleaning out my basement.

I want to take a moment to share my awe of all single parents. The only reason I am able to still function at work is because of my husband’s support and participation.  (Seriously, single parents, I salute you and offer up all the hugs, kudos, props, and every other form of recognition.  If you are a single parent caring for a child with special needs during this pandemic, with all of the powers vested in me by the Mommy-Blogger-Gods, I decree that in your next life, you deserve to be lounging on a shady terrace in a tropical climate, being slowly fanned, while you sip a fruity drink with flowers in it.)  I do have a partner, so yes, there are moments when I can take a walk by myself, or shut myself in my room for a half hour.  But even this privilege feels trivial under the constant barrage of the immediate needs of my child.

So here’s what I want to say to my peeps out there, the parents who are following similar bread-crumb trails of disaster around their houses:

You know your kid. 

Some of us have chosen to have service providers in our homes, accepting the risks; some of us have moved to telehealth, but with fewer hours; some of us have had to discontinue services, for one or more of a million reasons.  These decisions impact our child and our families now, and in one way or another, their future.  More than ever before, we are in our heads, second-guessing the decisions we are making about our children’s services, or about how we are handling their days (too much routine, not enough routine).  Even the opinions of well-meaning friends and relatives who are not trying to be judgmental can seep in and sow seeds of doubt.  Here is a mantra to repeat to yourself: I know my kid better than anyone.  You are the only one in a position to know what is best for your child.  It’s important to listen to the opinions of some (professionals who know your child, for instance) and to absolutely ignore others (your nosey neighbor who’s “just seeing if everything is okay” when your kid is raging over, literally, spilled milk).  Remind yourself frequently that you are the expert on your kid; not only that, you’re also the one directly managing the day-to-day every day.  Whatever decision you have made, I applaud you.

You are doing great, and I am not judging you.

Thou shalt not judge oneself by thy neighbor’s Instagram.  For reals.  Reading heartwarming stories about all of your friends’ kids’ accomplishments and seeing portrait-mode-perfect pictures of their happy faces while doing a distance-learning science project can stop my heart for a moment.  This stuff is hard for me in normal times; somehow this pain has been heightened by the pandemic.  If you can find it within you to see these things and be happy for your friends and also still feel good about your own family: you are a special angel and I want you in my life.  For the rest of us: turn off the Instagram and the Facebook and find communities of parents who understand your story and can celebrate the unique joys of your kiddo with you.  I could never tell my typical-mom friends about how thrilled I am to go two days in a row without a hole knocked in the wall, but I have found other moms who have similar circumstances and can help me rejoice in this little bit of progress, which reminds me that I am doing great.  You are doing your best AND your best is enough.  Recognize this and seek out others who will also appreciate your kiddo, your circumstances, and your efforts. Repeat to yourself, you’re doing a great job.

Ask for Help. 

I know, it’s harder than ever to get help.  Babysitters may be less available, or you may have less money to pay them.  Home therapists and respite workers were hard to find before the pandemic, and now it’s…well, let’s just not even go there.  Here are some ways to ask for help if you are drowning:

1. If you do have a partner, I highly recommend locking yourself in your room once a day and tuning the world out, with headphones, a book, television, or a nap. Nobody can keep going without a break.
2. If your child is able to FaceTime independently, reach out to friends and family members and schedule a FaceTime session every day, whereby you can get a small break. (Hooray!  Congrats!  You get to go to the bathroom alone!  Oh, unless you have multiple kids.)
3. If you have an ABA therapist, keep them updated on how things are going. Don’t hesitate to communicate when something new has arisen or gotten worse – they are there to help you.  If you need more hours, ask for it.
4. If you don’t have ABA services right now, reach out to see if telehealth is available to you, even if it’s just parent education.
5. If your state has a crisis intervention hotline, put the number in your phone so you have it handy if you need it.
6. Exhausted parents don’t love to cook dinner….if you can afford it, order take-out. If you have a friend that offers to help, ask for a dinner drop-off.  If you have cereal and toast for dinner every night for a week, I feel you, friend.
7. If you need a group of people who get you, turn to Reddit, or FB groups, or another online forum of parents who share your situation. Lurk for awhile, or jump right in.  Hearing someone else tell a story that could be yours honestly lightens the load for a minute.
8. If you are associated with a church, temple, or other community organization, reach out to see what services they are offering their members. I have heard of organizations providing meals, support phone calls, grocery drop-off, and other help.
9. Everyone should know about Aunt Bertha – it’s a network linking up non-profits and social programs with people who need them. If you need help with paying for groceries, healthcare, housing, utilities, or help finding a job or getting legal aid, Aunt Bertha’s got you.  https://www.auntbertha.com/
10. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 and is free and confidential. I hope you don’t need it, but if you do, please don’t hesitate to call: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
11. The Disaster Distress helpline is set up to help people experiencing a crisis, such as this pandemic. Call 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746.
12. If you don’t already have a counselor and you feel you need one, ask your PCP for a referral.
13. Check to see if your employer has an Employee Assistance Program. They may offer free counseling, legal advice, or other services.
14. If you are in fear for your own safety or the safety of others, please call 911.

Take care of yourself, by any means possible. 

Caregiver Burnout is real, y’all.  I had a dark day last week – I was exhausted by a few really tumultuous days in a row, with no sleep.  Someone mentioned “self care” to me and I made a gesture.  For the sake of decorum, let’s say I rolled my eyes.  I would have loved to have taken a bubble bath, gone to get a mani-pedi, spend an hour in yogic meditation, had lunch by myself while I read a book, and all of the other things that come to mind when I hear the words “self-care.”  It goes without saying that none of these things are an option at the moment, and not just because my mani-pedi place is closed.  But here’s the thing: we still have to take care of ourselves.  The best way that I’ve found to “care for myself” at this point in time is to simply lower the bar.  Your bar is already low, you say?  Maybe you need some more encouragement.

It is okay to decide not to change from your sleeping sweatpants to your daytime sweatpants.

It is okay to not respond to texts for several weeks and then to forget to show up to a zoom social hour with your friends.  It happened, don’t sweat it.  They’ll live.

It is okay to change the screen-time rule to only-when-they’re-awake.

It is okay to let your child wear their favorite dirty shirt 14 days in a row if you are picking your battles and that’s not one you feel like waging.

It is okay to lock yourself in the bathroom with your headphone and pretend you are having digestive issues when you are really watching SNL at Home skits, because dammit you need to laugh!

Get the picture?  You need to rest, Fam.

You know what The Plague, the Spanish Flu of 1918, and the Hong Kong Flu Pandemic of 1968 all have in common?  They ended, eventually.  Like everything else in life, this pandemic is temporary.  Hold on to that.  Remind yourself that the reason it feels so hard is that we have been doing this for so long – which means we are that much closer to it being over.  Above everything else, while we continue to take this slog one day at a time, be kind to yourself.  Give yourself the kind of encouragement and compassion that you would give me, if we were friends….And I promise that I’ll do the same.

Welcome to our All Autism News series! Whether you’re a parent, advocate, professional in the field or individual with autism, All Autism News is here to give you a summary of this past month’s biggest news stories affecting the autism community.

National News

Is my autism a superpower?
The Guardian – Greta Thunberg, Chris Packham, Jack Monroe and others credit their Asperger’s with giving them the focus to get things done.

Research

Drug combination mutes sensitivity to noise in autism mice
Spectrum – A mix of two drugs nixes noise hypersensitivity in an autism mouse model, according to new research.

Using technology to help close the autism job gap
Seattle Times – Byran Dai was 24 when he promised his mother, who passed away less than two months later, that he would look out for his younger brother Brandon, who is autistic.

Risk genes for autism overlap with those for attention deficit
Spectrum – People with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) carry rare, harmful mutations in many of the same genes as people with autism, an analysis of thousands of sequences suggests.

Brains of autistic people show unusual left-right symmetry
Spectrum – The hemispheres in autistic people’s brains are more symmetrical than those of their typical peers, according to the largest imaging study to explore this relationship.

Teens & Adults

Thursday’s Child: 13-year-old with autism dreams of a family to celebrate life with him
Fox 4 – James has always wanted a family. It’s something he’s wanted for so long he can’t tell you when he first started dreaming of his future family.

Severity predicts autistic children’s ability to learn life skills
Spectrum – How well autistic children perform basic tasks of daily living — dressing, grooming and the like — at about age 6 depends on their language skills, age of diagnosis and the extent of certain autism traits between ages 2 and 4.